Category Archives: A chequered life

Silence of the Lambs

What’s for dinner, a plate of liver and a nice glass of Chianti?

Didn’t know you were into S & M Where’s you handcuffs?

The acerbic, taunting, hurtful comments just kept on coming, each one of them slicing into my heart like a knife through butter. And why was I being subjected to this vile abuse, you might ask? Just because we were supposed to be going on holiday with friends and they were threatening to leave me home alone while they jetted off to the sun… and the fact I’d just walked into the room looking like a deranged psychopath with my face concealed under Hannibal Lector’s mask?

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How Embarrassing

The day before I’d had a cyst the size of an egg removed from up my back passage and was now lying in a hospital bed recovering. I hadn’t been able to vacate my bowels properly for weeks and, as a result, was lying in a bed full of… I’ll spare you the details… so it probably wasn’t the ideal time to ask me if I would go out on a blind date.

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